Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
