My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
