I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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