Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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