worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
