i would punch a child for taco bell
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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