I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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