Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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