are you so shy because you have an std?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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