Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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