found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
