I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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