then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
