worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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