On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
