How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
