I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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