dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
