Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
