Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
