He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
