I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
