I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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