Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
