My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
