Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
