I didn't shave. On purpose
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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