What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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