so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
