There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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