420 ftw
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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