He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
