I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42ā€¯ tv lol
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
