Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
