Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
