so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
