She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
