i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Never underestimate the power of titties
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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