Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
