Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
