you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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