clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
