Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
