About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
