He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
