This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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