Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I have already put on my inside pants.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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