I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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