suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
