I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
