Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
